Pumping for a cause

While I didn't have a birth plan or a completed nursery, one of the things I knew long before Bean's early arrival was that I wanted to try and breastfeed. After my emergency c-section, I wasn't sure if this was possible, but learned that I could pump to help my milk come in.

Those early days of pumping allowed me to focus on something positive and was so reassuring to know that I could do something to help my little girl while she was fighting in the NICU. I pumped every 3 hours - even getting up once a night. I was able to build up quite a supply pretty quickly, depositing my supply every day at the hospital when I came to visit.

I was pretty surprised when a few weeks in, they told me by freezer space was full! (WHAT?!) So now I had to keep my stash at home and just bring in extra when her supply started to run low. In Bean's early days in the NICU she was hardly getting any milk since she was so tiny. They started her at 2 ccs every 3 hours to make sure her digestive track could handle it before increasing her about 1 cc per day. When they told me I had to keep my stash at home, she was probably taking 1/8th of what I was producing daily.

Needless to say I had a LOT of milk. Even after an unfortunate power outage that knocked out a portion of my stash (sniff sniff..) I was swimming in milk. Bean is now mostly exclusively nursing, but I continue to pump a few times a day to have a few bottles handy for convenience and to keep my supply going strong.

There is no way we'll be able to use it all before it goes bad. So I decided to donate it to Helping Hands Milk Bank. You can donate on a regular basis or one time. All the milk is used for other babies in the NICU that aren't able to get breast milk otherwise. Breast milk is crucial for premature babies - even more so than term babies. A lot of preemies can't digest formula, but breast milk is easier for them to digest.

I'm almost done with my approval process and am excited that my extra milk will help other babies. I learned through all my reading on preemies and discovered that breast milk's nutrients change if your baby is a preemie to make sure it gets the extra vitamins and minerals it needs - neat, huh?! Hopeful that some of milk can help another baby in need.

Father's Day

This year marked the first Father's Day for Kyle! Bean made him a hand print card and a picture for him to put at his office. I got him some lesser exciting items like a swim suit and shorts, but that's only because Kyle bought his own Father's Day present a few weeks ago at Dick's Sporting Goods.

I always knew Kyle would be an amazing father and I love getting to watch him interact and love on his little girl. They already have an amazing bond and she looks for him when she hears his voice. She stares at him when he holds her or gives her a bottle. It's enough to melt this mommas heart. I feel so privileged to be on this parenting journey with you!

Happy Father's Day to my sweet Daddy too! You are such an amazing dad to Gretchen and myself. You have always lead us with your sweet spirit and love for God. Thanks for all you do for us and our families. We love you!!

Four Generations/ Belated Mother's Day

Over Memorial Day weekend, my Nanny (my mom's mom) came to meet Bean for the first time. We took the opportunity to document 4 generations. I feel so blessed to have both my mom and grandma here to love on my Bean and help me learn how to be a good mom. You've been amazing examples of how to care for and love on my family, love the Lord and be a help mate for my husband. Thank you for all you do and all that you are!

As She Grows... Month 4

So I just realized I never blogged about Bean's monthly changing and growth... BAD MOMMY!! Bean just celebrated month 4 on Monday and went to the Dr yesterday for her well visit and shots (boo). For your 4 month present, we found out that we could offically remove your apnea monitor and are offically cord free or as cousin Ellie calls them "Electrical Cords" - ha! Mommy teared up when you got your shots yesterday, but by the next morning you were all smiles. Fingers crossed for no fever!

4 months stats (6 weeks adjusted):
- 8 lbs 11 oz
- 20.5 inches

Your current activites and favorites:

• Smiling and Laughing are one of your favorite activities. You have been doing so for several weeks now, though every time I try to capture on film, you suddenly get a very serious face.
• You are a very happy baby in the morning and love it when you are sung to. Mommy and Daddy are willing to act silly to get you to crack a smile.
• Brown Bear, Brown Bear is your favorite book (let's be honest, it's the only book we've read to you so far) but you light up looking at the pages and your eyes get huge taking in the images on the page.
• Every couple days you love to projectile vomit on mommy, daddy and yourself and look quite pleased with yourself afterwards.
• The Soothie paci from the hospital is your FAVORITE! If I even try to give you a different kind you spit it out immediately.
• Scaling Mommy and Daddy is your favorite Tummy time activity and you have great neck control for such a tiny thing.
• Since about 1 month adjusted you started giving us longer stretches at night - ranging between 4-5 hours a night!
• Crying is a rarity and you usually just start grunting or sucking on your hand when you are hungry.
• You've been home now 8 weeks - still a week shy of the amount you spent in the hospital, but that memory is getting more and more distant. It seems like you've been with us forever and can't imagine life without you.
• You have such a sweet disposition. Your Onnie keeps telling us how lucky we have to have such an easy baby and I have to agree. You truly are so sweet and have been kind breaking in your first time parents. (Now that I have typed this... this doesn't mean you can prove me wrong)

I've taken a picture with your pink bear every month since you arrived home to mark your growth. Since Mommy didn't post the previous months shots, I've included those as well.

4 months (6 weeks adjusted)

8 lbs 11 oz, 20.5 inches

3 months (12 days adjusted)

6lbs 6 oz

2 months (38 weeks gestation adjusted)

5 lbs 5 oz, 18.5 inches

Five

Has it really been 5 years already? Looking back, it seems like it was just yesterday that we said "I do", but we've had a lot of changing and accomplishments in these last 5 years. We've lived in 2 states, 4 apartments/homes, graduated Optometry school (like how I said we there.. haha), have owned 4 cars, 1 dog and have added 1 precious daughter to our family.

To celebrate we wanted to go on a trip, but with Bean being so little, we didn't want to go without her, so we took my parents with us to Callaway Gardens for a weekend trip. It was so beautiful there and had lots to do. We were able to enjoy some dates thanks to my parents.

Here is a shot of us before heading to dinner one night. As I was looking back through my wedding photos I came across one from our honeymoon and we are in the same pose! Some things never change I guess.

Looking forward to many more years with my sweetie! I love doing life with you :)

First Outing

After not leaving the house with Bean for three weeks, we decided it was time to get out of the house. Our first trip was to the library 2 weeks ago. I thought this would be a good first destination because no one would really bother us, it's cleaner than a grocery or retail store (at least in my head) and I really needed something to read because the TV was on WAY too much in our house.

The trip started off well and Bean slept the whole 5 minutes it takes to get there, but started going down hill from there. Once we arrive, I get Bean situated in her stroller pretty easily, but it was so windy she woke up. As we strolled in I thought she was going to go back to sleep, but she had other plans for mommy.

As soon as I get into the library the librarian notices my carriage, but resists coming to look because she thinks Bean is sleeping. Then without warning, Bean starts fussing in the EXTREMELY silent library. YIKES!! I tried the paci, but Bean wasn't having any of it. Her fussing quickly turned into cries and I'm starting to sweat.

She immediately stopped crying after I got her out and held her....sigh. So here I am trying to look at the new releases, holding Bean, pushing her stroller and having to stick extremely close to the stroller because her apnea monitor is in the bottom and somehow part of the cord got wedged between the car seat, so it looks like I'm pretty much hugging my stroller.

Now that Bean is out of her stroller, she quickly becomes a magnet and we get approached by a sweet older lady who thankfully doesn't try to touch Bean. (I'm a little paranoid about germs now - especially with a preemie since she's more susceptible to illness than the average baby). This brings me to my next awkward situation. The sweet lady asks how old Bean is. I'm conflicted as to what age to give this lady. Do I give her actual age of 3 months when clearly Bean is not the size of a 3 month old or do I give her adjusted age of 1 week to keep things simple? (side note: adjusted age is gestationally how old she would be if she was born on her due date and is used a lot of preemie parents with their childs developmental stages) I'm never going to see this woman again, it would be easier to just say 1 week, but I panic and for some reason feel the need to explain to her that Bean was a preemie and is 3 months, but the size of a newborn.

Now the librarian gets in on the action and comes over as well. I was a little nervous, but both ladies were great and didn't get overly close. The librarian even tells me that her now has a 200 lb preemie who was only a pound when he was born.

From there I quickly find 3 books to read; which has to be a record for me. I manage to wheel over to the check out, get my library card out of my purse with 1 hand and I'm in and out of the library in less than 15 minutes. Bean finally agrees to get back in her car seat in the lobby where I don't really care of she complains.

By the time we get back to the car, I am completely covered in sweat and Bean falls alseep. (figures)

Upon reflection, perhaps bringing Bean to the quietest place on earth wasn't the best idea, but at least I got a few books and a little fresh air. Each outing since has gotten a little easier for both mommy and babe, though I'm still a little afraid to step foot in the library again.

A few of my favorite things

Since bringing our little bean home I have a new list of my favorite things:


1. Fisher Price Rocker/Sleeper - The least expensive "swing" is Bean's favorite. It doesn't take batteries, has to be manually rocked and doesn't make any noise, vibrate or play music, but has the ability to put Bean to sleep and stay asleep the longest.



2. Oxi-Clean - this girl likes to spit up - A LOT! Bean has reflux and likes to projectile spit all over herself and whoever is feeding her - especially after her iron vitamin; which is a nasty shade of swamp green. So far all her clothes (and mine) have come out clean after a pre-treatment of Oxi-Clean. My poor sister got it pretty bad last week when she came over for the day and needed an entire wardrobe change. Sorry Sissy!!

3. The Swaddle - The nurses in the NICU were pros at wrapping Bean in a swaddle with a regular blanket - Mommy - not so much! I sort of forgot I had a Swaddle Me for the first week and once I discovered it in her drawer, I noticed how much faster she fell asleep with it on.

4. The Breast Pump - My pump has been my best friend since Bean was born - especially since I couldn't nurse her for the longest time. I now have a HUGE stash in our freezer, so much so that we had to buy a deep freezer. Anyone need any breast milk?? My fear is one day it will stop working since I use it a million times a day. If that happened I think I'd seriously cry!

5. Bean - Maybe I should have lead with this one, but seriously can't get over my little girl! She is so precious and really is such an easy baby - especially since all the preemie books keep saying preemies are fussy and can be difficult. We have really been blessed with this bundle of sweetness. We started calling her Little Bean in the hospital and the name has stuck. I figured it would be nice to have a little nickname for the blogsphere, so Bean it is.